september

it was a pretty weird month.

i was anxious most of the time and it took its toll on my sleeping, eating and working habits. i just felt "off" the whole time, but i did my best to keep things on an even keel thinking that things will eventually go back to normal if i acted that way.

it's september now and in a way, i'm glad another month is here. i hope this will be a good month... and the months after that, of course.

looking forward to my East Coast trip! i think this trip will give me that much-needed break. i'm looking forward to see some friends too. hopefully, i will feel renewed and get my mojo back after this trip =)

[happy birthday to my ate and good luck to HIM in the US Open!]

take 2!

meet my new friend. it looks a little different, but it's still blue. yes, i have a thing for pretty blue things =)

somehow i feel like the blue shade of the previous one had more personality and had a more carefree vibe, but i guess it's just apt that the shade of the new one, although just as pretty, is not as "happy".

the steering and handling of the first one was more responsive, whereas this one is smoother... the interior of this car is nicer too. although, shempre, safety is now higher on my list.

ayan, new car, i'm a little more jaded, but i'll take good care of you. i hope you take good care of me too... i hope this will last me a little longer than the other one... *crosses fingers*

my first car

i remember being so happy the day it was officially mine. i thought we would still have each other for a few more years, but i guess it was not meant to be.

we were together almost every day and i remember looking forward to seeing it after a long day at work. i also remember perking up whenever i spot it for the first time after going on a vacation for a few days or weeks.

marami rin kaming pinagdaanan, and for those two and a half years, my car was worth every penny. i know that i owe it a lot on that fateful day, so i will always be grateful for that.

i saw it for the last time earlier today. i wanted to take a picture, but i didn't want to remember it that way. i came to get the last of my belongings and looked back for the very last time before silently saying goodbye.

it's time to move on because things aren't the same anymore since that day. hopefully, the next one will make me as happy and will mean just as much as my first.
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i didn't know i could get so attached to an inanimate object. thanks for the memories... you are sorely missed and will always be remembered.

yay!!!

i went skydiving yesterday! (well, actually it was the other day since it's past 1AM already...)

SO MUCH FUN! i wanna do it again! not anytime soon, but maybe someday...

one thing crossed off my bucket list! hayyy, ang saya =)

emote!

i think i'm a relatively happy person in general, pero when i feel melancholic or reflective, i have this bout of restlessness...

all in all, i think i'm nice enough, friendly enough, smart enough, cute enough (i sure am not tall enough!), sweet enough, sassy enough, polite enough and level-headed enough...

i think i'm happy enough, good-natured enough, professional enough, practical enough, understanding enough, informed enough, adventurous enough, thoughtful enough, maybe i'm not rich enough but it's okay since i'm young enough...

i think i'm wacky enough, but also serious enough... i think i'm cool enough, but also dorky enough...

but sometimes, i don't think it's good enough..... is this normal?

july post

i guess it's time for another round of random thoughts in my own little place in cyberspace. here we go!

i just got back from new orleans! i had a mini-reunion with my relatives on my mom's side and had a lot of fun! it's been 13 years since i saw most of them so it was great catching up =)

it was also an experience taking in the night scene with the bar-hopping and walking down bourbon street, since i was still 11 when I last went there. it makes me wonder if i should check out mardi gras one of these days... all in all, good place, good company, and good food! (it just reminded me how i should really learn how to cook if i want live up to my full foodie potential, tsk tsk tsk...)
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i was "blog-surfing" earlier and read some interesting posts, they know who they are since i left pretty lengthy comments in their blog, hehehe... one mentioned that he likes being in airplanes a lot because it makes him think of things... since i'm still experiencing a "vacation hangover", i thought i'd touch on this.

i like riding on airplanes too, mainly because it means i'm going on a vacation or i'm going to see family, friends and/or relatives. some people get antsy and anxious and can't wait to get to their destination, but i'm pretty patient when it comes to flying. it's probably because i got the hang of it from flying back and forth back in college that i'm generally well prepared (i usually bring my laptop, my trusty DSlite, some leftover sudoku sheets of paper, and maybe a book if it's a long flight to keep the boredom at bay).

i usually get thoughtful when i ride on planes, i end up thinking about life in general, how my family is doing and also the friends that i just said goodbye to or the friends I'm about to see. i usually start out wishing i worked for a travel or lifestyle channel so that i can explore more often... then i think about my other dream jobs, which leads me to think about my actual job and how i've been doing and so on.

i look out the window (i like the window seat) and think about other things in my life... maybe it's because you see the wide expanse of land or sea beneath you and it seems like for a few hours time stops (contradictory ba?), since you're kind of in a limbo, suspended up in the sky... you get the chance to entertain some thoughts pushed to the back of your mind due to the hustle and bustle of daily life.

right before take-off or through turbulent conditions, i wonder if i will be at peace if the plane ride goes wrong... then I think that maybe you know you've led a good life if you still feel peaceful by then...of course i always wish for a safe flight, so i get another chance to muse on a plane, hehehe...

i also like being in airports. i like seeing the variety of people who are about to fly for different reasons. you see a family struggling to contain their kids' unending energy and enthusiasm; you see a couple eagerly awaiting a romantic getaway; you see people in suits striding purposefully while talking or texting on their smartphones, and a group of friends about to go on their vacation. it's fascinating to see the contrasts between these people (and of course you fantasize about bumping into or seating beside a cute stranger, HEHEHE)

anyway, wala lang, i wish i get to travel more, hehehe...
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in other news, my #1 celebrity crush finally got Grand Slam #15! shempre, I'm very happy for him... i hope the birth of his first child will go well (and i hope he wins a few more slams, hehehe).

i've been neglecting the DVDs i borrowed lately due to the Roland Garros-Wimbledon double whammy, which was followed by the travel arrangements for the New Orleans trip... i hope i get to watch them and some summer movies as well...

i finally got to try Pilates too... i liked it a lot... it's very low-impact, but very effective, since i didn't expect to see faint definition in my core in just a few weeks... i'm definitely going to borrow some of the moves one of these days when i feel motivated to exercise again.

i haven't seen some people here in the Bay Area for a while, i hope i get to catch up with them before the summer is over... you know who you are! =)

i'm also hoping i can finally see the East Coast this summer... i'm crossing my fingers that it will happen.

oh yah, i turned 25 almost a month ago... time flies fast! i feel like i'm so isip-bata (childish) in so many ways that i can't believe i'm in my mid-20s already! hopefully, it will be another good year... =)

anyway, that's all i can think of at the moment, i will just post some pictures to end this post.

[ my mom is pretty noh? she's 61 and still looks good! i hope i inherited her good genes and age just as gracefully =) ]

confessions of a FedKAD

Congratulations to Roger Federer for winning his 14th Grand Slam and a career Slam at that!

It was rough being a FedKAD this year, especially during hard court season when people were saying his best days are behind him (with him losing to the rest of the "Big 4", a baby on the way, younger players breaking through, inconsistency in his strokes, etc.)...

Even I felt that his dominant days were probably over due to stiffer competition, but I think that he still had what it takes to win a few more Grand Slams. I was prepared to be patient and I didn't expect too much coming into clay season (although I was admittedly reluctantly excited when he defeated an exhausted Nadal in Madrid going into the French Open).

I was hoping for a fourth consecutive final (presumably against Nadal, of course), but that was pretty much it. When his "typical" threats got eliminated, I couldn't help but feel like this was his best chance to finally win the French Open, and after surviving some tight matches along the way, win he did!

It's time to look forward to grass season in a couple of days. I suppose it would be asking for too much to hope for #15 right away, but you know who I will be rooting for if he gets to another Grand Slam final =)

clay juju

CLAY JUJU, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!

pinoy pop culture flashback

This goes out to all my "homegrown" pinoy friends:

Do you remember watching Magmaman and Ultraman in the afternoon (or was it weekends?) on TV during your childhood?

Do you remember the X-Men and Ewoks cartoon shows on Fridays in the early to mid '90s?

Do you remember Marimar and Maria Mercedes (and the subsequent spawn of telenovelas) in the mid '90s?

Do you remember those dubbed anime shows in the late '90s? Do you remember T.G.I.F. and Gimik?

Do you remember FREAKING F4 and Meteor Garden in the early '00s? Do you remember F4 songs virtually taking all the top spots in the MYX daily countdown? Oh, and that hairstyle craze that they spawned in straight (and not-so-straight) men???

I remember thinking I was too "cool" for these trends back then. As "pop" as I am, I never really got into telenovelas, anime shows and F4/J-Pop/K-Pop.

I also remember feeling a little embarrassed for secretly feeling "kilig" when watching the loveteam movies of yore. Nowadays, that's all I rent whenever I get a chance to go back to the Philippines.

My OPM knowledge is now extremely lacking as well. The last popular OPM act I was keenly aware of was still Kitchie Nadal and MYMP.

Are there still Kapuso vs. Kapamilya network wars?

Ano na ba ang uso sa 'pinas nowadays? Ano na ang jologs?

Do people still use the word jologs? I MISS PINOY POP CULTURE!!!

on a personal note...

I sometimes find it hard to acknowledge a friend's weaknesses to myself because I feel like I'm somehow betraying my friend by allowing myself to entertain negative thoughts about him/her.

I think it stems from my "fear" that if a friend notices a weakness of mine, I might be criticized about it behind my back and that person will think less of me.

Over the past year, I think I have finally learned that nothing is wrong with acknowledging a weakness of a good friend because that doesn't mean that you think less of him/her.

In fact, that is a good sign of your friendship because you embrace that person for who he/she really is, instead of just embracing the positive traits and trying to ignore the weaknesses. It strenghtens your bond because you are still fond of them, in spite of their faults. It means you love them, flaws and all.

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It's a lot similar with my past refusal to acknowledge my "doubts", when I give someone or something the benefit of the doubt.

I used to think that entertaining those doubts means that you're already casting your judgment, when actually that is why the word 'doubt' was in the phrase in the first place. You are giving the benefit of the doubt because there was something that made you doubt what you have perceived.

I guess this was also because I wanted people to give me the benefit of the doubt in less than ideal situations. I'm still learning to finetune my BS detector because of this.

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I think these tendencies of mine are based on that golden rule. They are based on good intentions but I guess I just took it a little too far.

I'm still learning a thing or two about moderation in some aspects of how I think and there should be a balance.

Yeah, this just occurred to me today... maybe it's my little nugget of wisdom that I have acquired before I turn 25... =)

[Yes, this realization of mine might seem obvious to you, but it took me a long time to be "enlightened", hehehe]